11 Comments
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Bea Stitches's avatar

Thinking of you Jessica. X

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Chandler Grey's avatar

"To remind myself there will always be something to celebrate and there will always be sorrow." Thank you for sharing some of yourself and your stories with us.

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Jessica Leigh Allen's avatar

♡ ♡ ♡

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Sharon Tyers's avatar

Yes I’m a survivor too, well so far. The chemo was so brutal but 3 years on the memory of that nausea is fading and I hope never re appears.

Keep watching out for damsel flies Jessica xxx

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Jessica Leigh Allen's avatar

Ugh...yes, chemo. There are no words. My treatment was 15 years ago and the memories do fade a bit, but boy...yes, it is certainly an experience. I used to tease my oncologist and tell him that I think it should be required that every oncologist undergo chemotherapy so they understand what they are asking us to tolerate. ♡

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Chris M's avatar

My heart goes out to you in your grief and your joys. I'm trying to calmly enjoy each day I have. I'm grateful I feel good even with stage 4 cancer and 6 months of chemo. Cancer sucks.

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Jessica Leigh Allen's avatar

Oh, yes, Chris, it sucks indeed--it's really all-consuming, too, isn't it? I began this essay this morning and then became busy with telephone calls, scheduling and billing issues.

The diagnosis is heartbreaking, the chemotherapy is debilitating and we must continue to carry on with our day-to-day. You are always in my thoughts and I do hope you're healing and tolerating any side effects. ♡

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Chris M's avatar

It's all very strange to me. I'm doing great, and I'm also dying. I feel fine and side effects have been minimal. I'm so glad I can be here with you for a while. Like I keep saying, I am fascinated with your reading the same book continuously. OK, it is hard to form sentences at times, which is irritating lol. I'm thinking of you and your husband also. Thank you.

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Jessica Leigh Allen's avatar

I completely understand. My cousin feels very well (aside from fatigue). She is entirely upbeat, socially quite pleasant and she, too, is literally dying. It really is quite strange and I am so heartbroken for you both--cancer is unfair.

I don't mean to pry, but, are you in the U.S.? I've noticed (while talking with others), oncologists in the U.S. tend to be really proactive when it comes to side effects.

For example, I had absolutely no nausea, despite taking a pretty harsh combination of breast cancer pharmaceuticals. But, I was pre-medicated with steroids and anti-nausea meds each time. Honestly, something that simple can help one's state of mind, right? My worst side effect was the brain fog and extreme fatigue (this is the issue for my husband too). And, when I was on a drug called paclitaxel, the physical pain was terrible...but it was predictable (and short-lived).

I have to respect paclitaxel though--it was originally derived from the Yew tree. ♡

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Chris M's avatar

I am in the US. There is definitely noticeable fatigue. The pre-meds help and I take cymbalta for neuropathy and olanzapine for nausea.

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Jessica Leigh Allen's avatar

While I'm the first to celebrate my own herbal concoctions, I am so eternally grateful for synthetics that help us tolerate side effects.

I am glad to hear you have some 'on board,' as chemo nurses say. ♡

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